20 Lessons From a Year of Self-Discovery

Unlearning old maps and charting new territories

Hey there — can’t believe I’ve left my job for a year! Here are the lessons from someone who has been trying, enjoying, struggling, learning, and growing.

Connections, not just collections of knowledge, are what I truly seek. Building meaningful relationships doesn’t require me to be the smartest person in the room.

True connections come from within. They arise from your own state of mind, not the value you offer to others.

Happiness is woven from the threads of connection. The connection with others, ourselves, our passions, our environment, and the natural world.

Trusting oneself is a skill. Deep within your bodily sensations and intuition lies the knowledge of what’s right for you. But you need to develop the skill to discern your inner truth.

Pursuing enjoyment doesn’t mean being hedonistic. Enjoyment can be a powerful source of motivation and fulfillment.

Having desire is not the problem. Attachment is the problem. Learn to connect with your desires and express your wants without getting attached to the outcome.

Intellect is only part of your intelligence. Emotions and feelings are powerful lenses. They can unlock doors that conventional thinking doesn’t recognize.

Follow your curiosity and solve your own problems, instead of believing you must tackle large, abstract, or existential issues. The constant pursuit of doing “important” things can result in overthinking and contrived meaning-making.

Your beliefs and emotional patterns follow you regardless of your external pursuits. If these inner landscapes are holding you back, having the time and space to work through them with patience and self-compassion is crucial.

‌Priorities shift, and that’s okay. Embrace rather than resist these shifts, as change is a natural part of the growth process. Self-doubt and feelings of insecurity are features, not bugs.

Mood fluctuations are normal too. You may sometimes feel deeply sad or anxious without a clear external cause, and that’s okay.

Go exercise. Get hydrated. Rest. Emotional states are physiological, not just mental.

You’re a social animal. Experiencing something through conversation as opposed to reading it in a book can exert completely different effects. While learning may appear to be an individual pursuit, it is more impactful and enjoyable when undertaken with others.

Money is a neutral tool for exchanging value. One person’s gain doesn’t mean another’s loss.

Every idea contains both elements of truth and falsity. When you learn a new theory, you also learn a new misunderstanding. Actively seek out disconfirming evidence and avoid going to extremes. What has been working for you may not be effective in the future.

Embrace iterations over the pursuit of absolute truths. While we can strive to get closer to objective truth, no truth we derive is immutable or beyond questioning. Personal truths are subjective. Rather than seeking definite answers, engage in your own experiments and discover what works for you.

Be careful of reductionist thinking. Complex systems cannot be fully understood by breaking them down into components, and historical trends do not determine future outcomes. Avoid simplistic thinking in both understanding the world and yourself.

What people say or do to you reflect more of themselves than you. External circumstances matter less than how you relate to them mentally.

Like riding a bike, you maintain balance by not trying to. Similarly, the experience of presence arises when the idea of being present is forgotten.

What matters most is whether you are aligning with your authentic self. Progress is not linear; it’s filled with turns and detours that defy quantification. Let your inner sense of alignment, not external affirmation, be your ultimate measure of progress.

Thumbnail photo by Catherine Kay Greenup on Unsplash